Spider-man: Homecoming

Have you seen it?? Have you?? (Spoilers, darling, careful.)

With a 92% on rotten tomatoes, I knew it would be good, but I didn’t know it would become my favorite marvel movie. That’s right. It beat Loki. I’m a sucker for a good young-person story. (It’s why I write them.) And it charmed my heart.

Was Peter Parker himself at last? When I was seven, I watched a Spider-man cartoon and had a huge crush on spider-man. But the line I will never forget, the reason I was so head-over -heels, was this retort: Spider-man is chained up in a flooding basement, and he yells, “Hey! I never take a bath without my rubber ducky!”

And all my life, I’ve been waiting for a spider-man who would make a retort like that. You can’t see Toby Macguire or Andrew Garfield saying that line. But Tom Holland’s Peter Parker? Completely. He’s dorky and young and eager.

Who is this MJ person? MJ… MJ… hm… all I know is she stole my heart. I gaped at her thinking… when do you see female characters like this? She’s so real. She’s so quirky. She has a personality. She’s not lip-gloss and a cute top. She’s a character. She was an absolute delight. Now if a character like that could only be the love interest… the world would be perfect.

Is the high-school full of Hollywood-model college-age actors? I don’t know if I’ve seen a teenager movie where the teens were more realistically represented. They were there, the right ages, a wonderful mix of ethnicities that didn’t feel forced, with their nerdiness and their white hair and their awkward longing to belong. I felt that the whole film was full of real people, not “hotties” and I give that five stars.

Is it well structured? It was wonderfully executed. The pacing was great, the empathy was there… even the crisis, I felt, was unexpected but perfect. (When Peter saves the Vulture.) That’s the climax and crisis of the film, and our battered little fifteen year old earns his ultimate victory by simply saving someone’s life. Hats off.

Will your patience be rewarded? With tears of laughter.

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