I am now going to teach you the art of making a woman’s day without making her want to smash your skull. That’s right, I’m going to teach you how to compliment without being creepy, flirt without being sexist. Women everywhere will thank you.
Let’s start with some basics.
- Treat her like a person. We’re not animals. We’re not meat. We’re not a catch. We are not slimy fish or color blind deer waiting for you to claim us. If you don’t talk to a woman with the same sense of equality you do with a bro, you’re doing it wrong.
- Connect. If you want a woman of caliber to notice you, then don’t walk into a compliment with a “I’m such a magnet, this woman is going to love me, look at how she’ll worship me now” attitude. Women don’t exist to be available for you. Don’t act like you own the right to be noticed–instead, be human. Connect, person to person. Treat us like a “man”, or rather, a woman. What women really are. People.
- Don’t ogle her from across the room
- Don’t ogle her at all. Women are not porn.
- Don’t cat call from across the street (I’m looking at you, random middle school boys)
- Don’t saunter up like you’re about to make her day because you exist
- Don’t compliment her body, for the love of Pete. That’s creepy and one step below sexual assault.
- Make eye contact
- Chat, person to person. Make conversation about something, even if it’s just how you both wish green tea lattes were still on the menu. No amount of rehearsing will make this work: you either see that woman with respect, or you don’t. She can tell.
- Always treat her with respect. I don’t mean being polite, I mean respect. Admiration. If you tell her she’s beautiful, say it with respect. You admire her for being beautiful, you’re not telling her you’d like to take it home. Women like to be admired for how they look. (Although if you’ve hung out with her enough to know her, please compliment her mind or creations instead. We like being pretty. We like being noticed for WHO we are a million times more.)
- Compliment her hair or earrings in a friendly way. “By the way, I love your braid.” Start out by treating her like a friend. This makes a human to human connection. It makes her really see you. You want to be noticed? Be kind.
- Finally, treat flirting as an act of kindness. Are you doing this for you? To get a date? Selfishly? Or can you flirt with a woman, with hope in your heart, but for the primary purpose of making her day better? Unselfishness goes a long way. Be kind. Make a woman’s day better. Flirt with little old ladies. Your goal in flirting with a woman should be to bless her, every time. That will control what comes out of your mouth. The world needs more men who make a woman feel uplifted, not scared. Be that guy.
I trust you are now on your way to becoming men of character, who always end up with the best girls. I should know. I married one.