Quitting Christianity

At the beginning of this month, I had the privilege of acting in a sketch, with my twin sister, about a girl named Anne who becomes an atheist. Anne is fed up with Christianity and Christians, and she quits. She’s visited by her future self, who tells her she becomes a Christian again.

I wrote the sketch. The irony was that at the time, I was considering quitting Christianity. Oh, I liked God, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been a “strong” Christian my whole life. But it had stopped making sense. As Anne vented over the phone to her boyfriend about why she’d left the church, I wondered. Is this going to be me? Because this is how I feel.

They say everyone who grows up in the church has to decide for themselves “Why Am I Here?” before they can continue with their faith. It happens sometime in the early adult years. And I was considering, like so many millennials have, throwing in the towel. It’s not hip to be obedient anymore. It’s not self-respecting to follow a God who doesn’t give you want you want, meet your needs. A God who desires sacrifice, humility, and submission… that’s archaic.

The funny thing was, I tried to finish writing that sketch four times. Each time I sent it in to be approved, my Dad said, “Nope, there’s no resolution yet.” Because there was no resolution. I couldn’t write Anne’s resolution because I couldn’t find mine. I hadn’t changed. I was still in limbo. I couldn’t give her hers.

My Dad finished the sketch for me. I acted those words. I played future Anne, the Anne who has it all together, who knows why she returned to her faith. And each time I played her, I said the words my Dad wrote, “God knows that the biggest problem with Christianity is CHRISTIANS.” Each time, that line got a huge laugh. Because every Christian knew it was true, and they laughed. I felt them like a community around me, laughing at their own failures. Yeah we screw up. That doesn’t mean this isn’t real.

A few weeks later I was surrounded by young people my age who hadn’t left their faith. Who hadn’t toned it down. Who hadn’t altered it to keep it hip and fit their lifestyle. They sang worship songs, and the passion and love on their faces put me to shame. I knew this was real.

I’ve been shocked by how deeply my faith has grown in two weeks. Two weeks of following God not for perks but because He’s God. Obeying because obedience is His love language. I was a strong Christian before, but I’m a real Christian now, and I’m never going back. This feeling of hope, and clarity, of light in my soul and absence of fear… it’s inexplicable. Unless God is God and following Him is the best thing I could ever do with my life.

 

 

 

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